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Conquer Shame with Forgiveness

Has the feelings of GUILT or SHAME been controlling your thoughts and making you stagnant.  God is calling you – are you running to meet God or hiding from him?  Shame can stop you from reaching your goals, keep you away from family and friends, and can even prevent you from having the ultimate relationship – an intimate and personal relationship with God.  Shame can be TRUE or FALSE.  False shame comes from what you feel because of what someone may have done to you, it can give you the feeling of shame but it’s not true shame.  True shame comes from feeling guilt from your sin.  If you have true shame you can take it to Jesus for forgiveness.  If you have false shame, you can take it to Jesus for healing.


What’s a biblical example of this?  Paul was passionate about his persecution of Jesus’ followers.  He actually believed he was pleasing God.  He learned from his mistakes by learning that when he was persecuting Jesus’ followers he was also persecuting God.  The great part is that God forgave Paul and used him in an awesome way.

14 “Then he said: ‘The God of our ancestors has chosen you to know his will and to see the Righteous One and to hear words from his mouth. 15 You will be his witness to all people of what you have seen and heard. 16 And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.’  ACTS 22:14-16

A great exercise would be to write down all the things that you feel have left you with shame.  Maybe it is things that happened to you.  Maybe it’s things that you did to yourself or someone else.  Maybe it things you tried to do but now you feel like a failure.  After you finish writing your list of SHAME. Say a small prayer like this.  “Lord, I surrender this list to you.  I confess the sins that I have done against myself and others.  I forgive those that have sinned against me.  I forgive myself Lord and I need you to forgive me. I accept the plan you have for my life and I believe as I finish this prayer, through you, my life will never be the same. Amen.”

Now write across the paper FORGIVEN. What can you rely on after you have been forgiven?


But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. Ephesians 2:4-5.

Remember God loves you and sent his son to conquer sin for you!  He has plans for you.

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.[a] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.” Jeremiah 29:11-14 NIV

The Lord appeared to us in the past,[a] saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. Jeremiah 31:3 NIV

What led me to this message this week.  It is not always a big thing that can lead you to the feeling of shame.  Sunday, I woke up with plenty of time to make it to church yet I arrived late.  I forgot my tithes envelope.  My kids and I had to sit in the back while the ushers finished the offering.  I was meeting a friend who had come to visit our church.  The service was wonderful and it was great to see my friend.  We decided we would go out to eat after church.  When my kids and I got to the restaurant, I realized I left my bible “Women of Faith Study Bible” at church.  My daughter handed me my purse and I thought to myself, how could I remember my extra pair of shoes and forget my bible.  I made a few calls to people I thought would still be there at the church but I couldn’t get anyone to put my bible up for me.  I went into the restaurant, had a great time with my family and friends.  Yet the thoughts of the day still consumed me.  After we left the restaurant, I rushed back to the church and there my bible sat on the counter at the reception desk where I left it.  I thought I could have gone a week without my extra pair of shoes, but I know I couldn’t go a week without the WORD of God.  Amazingly enough the Week 1 Study I turned to was about “God’s Pursuit of You – The topic of Shame.  The above message I shared is a combination of what I read and more importantly what I believe.  Yet I know that we all have felt shame at one time or another in our lives.  Remember, The LORD has a big ink stamp ready to CONQUER your SHAME and FORGIVE you with HIS stamp PAID!

The great part about this whole exercise is that Jesus loved you so much that he already took your shame (sin) on himself and he made you clean from it.  What should you now do?  Follow through on the plans that God has for you.   #IAMCLEAN  #Forgiven #inspiredbytee

Torya DeMyers Britter

Inspired by Tee

Torya Beauty Center

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Persevere! August 5, 2015

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Has OBSTACLES stopped you from achieving, living your life to the fullest, advancing, increasing, or completing what needs to be done?  You have the ability to PERSEVERE.  To PERSEVERE is to persist in, continue steadfastly, stick with something, or remain constant to a purpose, idea, or task in the face of obstacles, counter-influences, opposition, difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement.

INSIGHT:  You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.  Hebrews 10:36

Benefits when you persevere:

  • Increased confidence
  • More success
  • Courage
  • More useful experiences
  • Bounce back from failures easier
  • Accomplish more
  • Increased determination
  • Learn more about yourself
  • Will power will increase
  • Won’t give up easily

Perseverance is contagious.  You will begin to want to succeed at everything you do.  Knowing that the road to success won’t always be easy, you will learn to follow through until the end.  With every single victory rather large or small you will feel a sense of accomplishment.  Trying leads to growth and growth leads you through experiences.  Perseverance is an important trait to have as it builds character and self-awareness.

It is time for you to PERSEVERE and do what needs to be done to accomplish the goals you have for yourself.  Post your comments.

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Has PROCRASTINATION stopped you from praying, achieving, living, being, having, deserving, feeling, reaching, serving, and doing what is good?  PROCRASTINATION is the avoidance of a specific task or work which needs to be accomplished.  It leads to feelings of guilt, laziness, inadequacy, anxiety, doubt, denial, impoverished lifestyle, and lack of integrity.  In order to overcome procrastination it is important to identify the behavior.

Why do people avoid work or PROCRASTINATE:

  • Lack of relevance
  • Acceptance of another’s goal
  • Perfectionism
  • Evaluation of anxiety
  • Fear of unknown
  • Inability to handle the task
  • Goal has been set too high
  • Goal is not measurable


  • Ignoring a task hoping it will go away
  • Underestimate the work involved to complete a task
  • Belief that a mediocre performance or lesser standards is acceptable
  • Deception by substituting one worthy activity for another
  • Belief that repeated minor delays are harmless
  • Over dramatization of a commitment to a task than actually performing it
  • Perseverance on part of the task, leaving the rest unfinished
  • Paralyzed in decision mode
  • Stuck between alternate choices to get the job done.
  • Past failure when goal was previous set or from other tasks


The way of the lazy man is like a hedge of thorns, but the way of the upright is a highway. Proverbs 15:19 NKJV.

4 When you make a vow to God, do not delay to fulfill it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow.  Ecclesiastes 5:4 NIV

You have what it takes to OVERCOME procrastination.  Be Proactive in doing what is good.


1 Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, 2 to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone. 3 At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. 4 But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, 5 he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, 6 whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heir shaving the hope of eternal life. 8 This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone. Titus 3:1-8 NIV

Become Proactive in doing what is good, first visualize yourself achieving your goal.

  1. Discover which of the above principles apply to you.
  2. Make honest decisions about your work.
  3. Expose intentional reasons for why you have avoided the task.
  4. Admit to yourself that you want to achieve the task
  5. Accept full responsibility for your actions.
  6. Acquire an adequate understanding of what’s necessary to get the task completed.
  7. Distinguish between activities that dramatize the work and activities that help to complete the work.

Be Proactive in doing what is good:

  1. Segment the task.
  2. Distribute the steps reasonably
  3. Include relaxation and variety as a part of the process to help you feel less resentful of the task when you need to take a small break.
  4. Monitor your progress on the small steps.
  5. Watch for pitfalls and avoid them.
  6. Be reasonable with your expectations
  7. Work on the task at hand.
  8. Track your progress daily, weekly, monthly, until the task is completed.
  9. Reassess time commitments as deemed necessary.
  10. God’s delay is not His denial – be reasonable with your expectations of yourself. Being a perfectionist or extreme strictness creates a rebel and may sabotage your progress.

It is time for you to stop PROCRASTINATION and DO the WORK that is GOOD!  Take ACTION allowing your WORK to stay aligned with what God has planned for your life.  PROCRASTINATION robs us of our choices, dreams, and abilities.  ACT today and stay on the road to success.  Post your comments.

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Do Your Eyes Mesmerize or Need Attention? July 24, 2015

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eye area attention


So, today’s question is:  Do your eyes mesmerize or need attention?  I want to provide some helpful tools on the three major eye area concerns and ways to improve your eye area.  It is said that your eyes are the key to your soul.  In addition, your eyes can tell a lot about your age, health, and wellness.  Your ability to take care of your eye area is key to having your eyes mesmerize.  The 3 most common issues that can happen in the eye area is Dark Circles, Puffy Eyes, and Crow’s Feet.

  1. Dark Circles: Dark circles can first be caused from aging: the eye area becomes thinner and loses collagen and skin layer causing a bluish or dark bruised look under the eye area.  Additionally, UVA/UVB rays are harmful to the skin and sunlight can make dark circles appear even darker.  Dark Circles can be hereditary.  Lastly Dark Circles can become worse from dehydration, smoking, caffeine, or alcohol.
  2. Puffy Eyes: As you age the tissue structure and muscle area supporting your eye can become weakened.  The skin may begin to sag and form a bag filled with fluid build-up.  Hormone changes, weather allergies, salty foods, lack of rest, dermatitis, and hereditary are common causes.
  3. Crow’s Feet are noticeable when you contract your eye muscles during smiling or squinting creating a permanent wrinkle. Over time, sun exposure, smoking, hormone changes can damage the elastin and collagen leading to lax skin causing it to hang loosely.  The more natural pigment you have the more protection you have from ultraviolet radiation.

How to correct Eye Area concerns:

Skincare: The Key ingredients to improving your eye area:

    1. Product that will help maintain healthy skin.  It needs to building blocks for proteins as well as provide collagen and elasticity.
    2. Soothing agent to help with puffy and tired eyes.
      1. Moisture – needs to condition and smooth skin to add, attract, and retain moisture.
      2. Needs to protect the skin while it counteracts the damage.
  • Revitalize cells to bring forth healthy skin cells, and fill in deep wrinkles.
  1. Firmness and minimize appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.
  1. Daily use is important to treatment of eye area problems.
  1. Protection:
    1. Concealer – discreetly hide blemishes and little imperfections. Highlighting pen to lift the shadowy look and make your eyes area appear brighter.  Eye-Makeup remover:  Remove eye makeup without tugging at the skin or pulling the delicate eye area as well as is safe for sensitive skin and eyes. Sunglasses to protect the skin from harmful UVA/UVB rays.  Eyeliner – provides definition to the eyes.  Eye Shadow: choose one that has vitamin A, C, & E to protect against wrinkles and radicals, that glides on easy, and has oil-absorbent properties.
  2. Men need to protect their eye area.
    1. Men are not excluded from dark circles, crow’s feet, or puffy eyes. There are eye creams specialized designed to meet the needs for men.  This product also needs to provide protection, so seek one that has sunscreen.  The sunscreen will provide the same protection that the concealer, cosmetics, and Highlighting Pen provides for a woman.  All the other treatments above are necessary for men as well.

Don’t allow your eyes to age you.  Drinking water helps keep the body hydrated and can also help.

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FAITH will help you BREAKTHROUGH! July 21, 2015

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What situation, relationship, hardship, or circumstance in your life has overwhelmed you to the point you feel that a BREAKTHROUGH has become impossible?  Has these things weighed you down and left you with doubt.  What actions is your DOUBTS stopping you for taking?  No one wants to admit that they have doubts or feel overwhelmed.  Allowing DOUBTS to manifest in your life can make you feel like you have been conquered with no way out.  Life can have trials and tribulations. God wants you to know that your FAITH triumphs in trouble.  Your FAITH is the key to your BREAKTHROUGH.

Insight: Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have[a] peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Romans 5:1-5 NKJV.

It is time for you to BREAKTHROUGH and take ACTION allowing your FAITH in what God promised to move you forward!  Even if you are in the midst of the storm, you can have HOPE your life will shine once again.  Erase your DOUBTS and know that GOD is with you and he will provide all you need to BREAKTHROUGH.  So now you can start looking toward what life will be without those negative situations, relationships, hardships, or circumstances.  You have what it takes to BREAKTHROUGH!  1.  Write down what has lead you to DOUBT.  2.  Allow your FAITH that God will bring you through to provide you the peace you need. 3.  Affirm how your life will be without those circumstances.  Know your BREAKTHROUGH is on the way!

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FEARLESS! July 14, 2015

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2 timothy 1 and 7


What action(s) are your FEARS stopping you for taking?  No one wants to admit that they have FEARS of success, failure, rejection, the unknown, change, or being overwhelmed.  Allowing FEARS to surface can lead to inaction, procrastination, unhappiness, complacency, underachievement, and restlessness. When FEAR knocks at your door, Send FAITH to answer.  FEAR has not been given to you by God.

Insight: For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV.

It is time to erase your FEARS and take ACTION!  Don’t be afraid to do what God has called you to do.  Don’t be afraid, to believe the seemingly impossible DREAM.  Don’t FEAR success, failure, rejection, the unknown or that you will become overwhelmed.  Don’t Fear Change.  You have what it takes to Take Action today!  1.  Write down all your FEARS – call them out so that you can face them and erase them.  2.  Create a Goal book to allow yourself to DREAM freely, GROW powerful, and BE!  3.  Affirm yourself, your dream, your goal, and start on your journey of POWER, LOVE, & GREATNESS!  Take ACTION today.

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7 Do’s for Workplace Makeup July 13, 2015

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glamour brush cartoon

The 7 Do’s for Workplace Makeup

Makeup looks best when it’s applied to healthy, well-cared for skin.  Healthy skin provides the best canvass for a flawless face. For the workplace, you want to illuminate your best feature with an appealing look.

1. Foundation is a DO! Foundation provides the groundwork for makeup. Adding primer helps your complexion look even and helps covers flaws. Concealer helps to cover age spots and blemishes. A translucent powder or pressed powder will set your makeup. Combined they create an even, flawless face that shows you care about your skin and appearance. Foundation should match your true complexion, neck and blend away evenly. There is a perfect match for you.

2. Brow pencil is a DO! Eye Brows frame your face and when they are well-groomed they accentuate your eyes and help your face look younger. Filling in the shape with an eyebrow pencil is a Do. Avoid heavy brows or brows that appear to be drawn on, they can be a workplace distraction.

3. Eyeliner is a DO! A thin line is appropriate for the workplace and adds to your overall look and prevents tired looking eyes.

4. Mascara is a DO! Great lashes get noticed. When you wear mascara a great trick is to roll the mascara wand to create a defined, lengthened look. A few coats for each eye is plenty for each lash. Remember, mascara has a shelf life of about 3 months from opening it. So the question becomes can I wear faux lashes to work? Absolutely, there are plenty of faux lashes that look natural. If you are unsure about which faux lash to wear, then save them for special occasions or contact your beauty consultant.

5. Eye Color is a DO! Everyone wants eyes that mesmerize. A natural look is not a look without eye color. A classic or natural look is perfect for the workplace. Avoid the Smokey Eye Look for the workplace. You can add an accent color for definition to turn a daytime look into a night-time look. Save the shimmery eyebrow bone for after work and Avoid up to the eyebrow embellishments.

6. Cheek Color is a D0! Cheek color centralizes and creates color harmony. Choose a shade that is close to your natural blushing skin tone.

7. Lipstick and/or Lip gloss is a DO! First, treat your lips with a non-medicated lip balm, add a lip-liner to match the natural color of your lip line. Colors that are in the neutrals provide a subtle lip and understate lip look. Lip color can easily help you go from the business meeting to the cocktail party. Avoid the darker shades for the workplace and change it up when you leave the office. A woman needs more than one shade. Don’t wear an over-glossed or glittery lip to the workplace, it can be distracting.

Remember, wearing makeup can increase people’s perception of a woman’s like-ability, her competence, trustworthiness, and according to a new study, cosmetics boosts a woman’s overall attractiveness. Studies have also shown that women feel more confident when they wear makeup.

“Case Study: Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, and Professors from Boston University provided a study. The study’s 25 female subjects, aged 20 to 50 and white, African-American and Hispanic, were photographed barefaced and in three looks that researchers called natural, professional and glamorous. They were not allowed to look in a mirror, lest their feelings about the way they looked affect observers’ impressions. One hundred forty-nine adults (including 61 men) judged the pictures for 250 milliseconds each, enough time to make a snap judgment. Then 119 different adults (including 30 men) were given unlimited time to look at the same faces. The participants judged women made up in varying intensities of Luminance contrast (fancy words for how much eyes and lips stand out compared with skin) as more competent than barefaced women, whether they had a quick glance or a longer inspection.”

What’s your DO look for the workplace? Tell us if you have any excellent tips or tricks!

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Torya DeMyers Britter

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Are you Ready??? October 31, 2012

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Are you Ready?

Have you asked yourself – Am I Ready?

I had a different post that I was working on for my regularly scheduled blog.  However, with the devastating affect of Hurricane Sandy, I want to steer in another direction.  There are 2 take aways that I want people to do in response to this blog:  1. Help and I will give ways to do so below 2. Get prepared!  I know that God blessed us here in Illionois at this time to not experience what just transpired across 15 states from the impact of hurricane Sandy. Yet in my heart of hearts, I can’t forget those that have been.  Even I tuning in the days prior did not realize the impact of the upcoming storm.  I sent a text to my brother who lives in Jersey and communicated with friends who lived out that way.  I want our response to be mighty.  I am personally working with my Sorority Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc., Eta Tau Sigma Alumnae Chapter and Circle of Friends of Bolingbrook, and my Church Jubilee Baptist Church, Bolingbrook, IL as we strive to give 100 cae packages to the homeless on November 10, 2012 through COF’s Debra’s Way – Taking It To The Streets Program.   Now, Sandy has come to town in a mighty way, and our support of those families need also be mighty.

Help Someone affected by the disaster

Response #1:  Help
  • Give blood
  • Donate Funds (Text the word REDCROSS to 90999, click send and a $10 donation will be confirmed)
Food and resources:  www.feedingamerica.org
We can help out in your local community through activities such as sorting, boxing and repackaging donated food to be directed where it’s needed most. Visit the website and find your local food bank to help.
Be Prepared

Be Prepared for a Disaster

Response #2: Get Prepared

Last part is Emergency Response Training for your family.  As I watch, I notice that so many of these families just didn’t know how to respond quickly to these issues.  It made me think of my own family and what would we do if a major crisis hit Chicago area.  My Mom used to say, “by the grace of God, there go I”.  When always humbled her to think Lord it could have been me.

Here is a quick checklist, this is not everything, but it is a start:  Tips to Prepare for a Disaster

Get Ready!!

Are you ready – No man knows the day or the hour!

Matthew 24:44 New International Version (NIV) 44 So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.

Leave your comment:  How have you prepared?  Have you thought about ways you can help?
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Is it time for An Ah-HA Moment in your Financial Life? October 22, 2012

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Is it time for    in your Financial Life?

Are you where you desire to be financially today?  Many people get to a certain age and realize that they may not have the career or comfort that would have hoped.  The cycle of life keeps going and you may discover you are living from paycheck to paycheck.  Four years ago over 800,000 people were their job per month and it was hard for them to make ends meet.  What do you do when life hits you the hardest?  What I have found to be the best reaction to a situation is have a personal Ah-Ha Moment!

Your Ah-Ha Moment is the very thing that keeps you from denial of your problem.  It is when you discover that there is a problem and you need to deliver a solution.  The one that hits people the hardest many times is their finances.

So Ask yourself:


Assessing the Damage

How much do you spend:  For 30 day record your spending.  Click here to use form:  Recording Your Income and Spending

Take some Action

You have to take some action.  Create a plan:

Click here to use form: Personal Commitment – Goal Setting AG

Create a budget and manage your debt


Consumer Debt Manager AG

The above is just a start but at least you can have an Ah-Ha Moment and start progressing to creating a new financial future.  For more information and to check on information about personal finances, visit http://money.msn.com/personal-finance/.  There are so many useful tools that you can discover.

Once you have completed the forms, comment about any Ah-Ha Moments you have had?  Do you feel you need to have an Ah-Ha Moment in your life.  When I got divorced 5 years ago it was important for me to know exactly where I was financially and then make daily choices to keep my family on target.  These forms helped me to stay on track.

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The Joys of Self Discovery October 8, 2012

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Who do you see when you look in the mirror?

Who Are You? – The Joys of Self Discovery!

Self Discovery is “the act or process of achieving understanding or knowledge of oneself.”  In order to get to a point of being inspired it is crutial that we know ourselves.  Who are You?  What do you like to do?  What kind of people do you like to be in your personal space.  Finding out who we are can help us to understand why a lot of our friends have so much in common.  It can lead us to understand why we choose to have a lot of facts in a situation.  It can even tell us why we always seem to be in a leadership position.

Sixteen years ago I was introduced to a concept called D.I.S.C.  It was a quick personality test that I took that gave me an inward look.  What I loved about the test was that it gave me a true picture of why I interact with people the way I do.  I know it will be just as helpful to help you find the joy of self discovery.

First, you can take the DISC Personality Test:

Click this file: DISC_Test  Then use the 2nd page as an example of how to add up your scores.

For an easier version, Click this file:  DISC Personality Test

Second, to evaluate the results and learn more about what your results mean.

Click this file:  DISC Breakdown and for another analysis Click this file:  DISCChart

After you have had the opportunity to discover a little more about yourself, share your thoughts.  My personality trait is D=Dominant and I=Influencing.  I took this test 16 years ago and I learned a lot about myself.


My D-personality is first:  I scored 14.  I noticed that whenever I am in groups, at work, with friends, I tend to take on leadership roles.  It answers why I am an entrepreneur and love working for myself.  I saw that even when working in companies, I climbed the ladder quickly.  This always came natural to me.  I make decisions quickly even though I spend a great amount of time thinking about them.

My I-personality is second.  I scored 12.  I am a natural born people person.  I love recognition and to socialize with family and friends.  I would love to know what your personality trait is as well.  I have an influencing personality which works well that I am a professional speaker and trainer.  I tend to work well in groups and also by myself.

My S/C personality.  I scored 0 in the S column and only 2 in C column.  These only show up when I am in need of this part of me.  For example, unless I am with my kids, my S doesn’t really exist.  My C only comes out when I am in front of my computer.  I am not very analytical and don’t need a lot of details.  As a matter of fact, too many details will actually bore me.

What I learned after taking this test is that we all have each of the personality and in different situations we draw from them.  Do you think tests like these are necessary?  Share your thoughts. I believe so because it teaches us a lot about the people we are around and why we deal with them the way we do.  After you have taking the test, do you see yourself in the results?  Were there any ah-ha moments for you?  Do the people who have dominant other personalities tend to get on your nerves?  Can you see why?  This week in your Be Inspired Journal, write down what you are learning about other people and how you interact with at least 1 person each day.

Self Discovery can definitely help you Stay Inspired!

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